Ah Life! Isn’t it fascinating contemplating what it all means? The complexities, the variables, the decisions we make, the coincidences we encounter, the causes and reasons for things. The building blocks of experience that shape us, define us, make us who we are today. Alas, it can be said that we forge ourselves in the fires of our own experiences throughout life.
What is it that we seek during our brief flicker of time spent on this spinning globe? Fame? Fortune? Love? Security? Perhaps someone to gag the noisy yapping irritating dog three doors down or perhaps someone to put those local scary twin boys who freak me out whenever I drive past, into care. Perhaps all of those things.
For me, I don’t ask for much. The one thing I seek is a life of contentment. Yes contentment is key to me. As long as I can go through life relatively comfortably, in a nice big house, with no money worries, a successful and powerful career, fancy car, property portfolio, holiday home abroad, hair, and of course the lovely Mrs Grump by my side, on our yacht, I would be happy.
Of course I am joking. I’m not a shallow creature at all. I accept that I will be bald and I embrace it.
With such a grounded outlook on life, is it no wonder I find it so infuriating when I feel let down as I’m sure you do too. Why is it that we try to make ends meet, plod on, do our best given the situations we find ourselves in and yet still something must come along and kick us while we are down? I’m talking about the faceless corporate commercialism and it’s false hopes and great let downs.
I have a feeling that you’re going to be on side here and that if you’re prepared to join me, we can take a stand and try to make a real difference to others so that they don’t endure the same frustrations that you and I have.
“But Grumpy Young Bloke, what are you talking about?” I hear you ask… in your minds….metaphorically speaking.
Well I’m glad you asked because I’m talking about the very serious issue of packaging failures!
You know how it is, you get up first thing in the morning, put the kettle on and realise you need to open a fresh bottle of milk:
Sigh, that’s annoying isn’t it? What to have for breakfast. Hmmm. I’m alright for time so instead of eating cold toast on the go, I actually have time to make a turkey rasher sandwich. A healthier alternative to the classic bacon counterpart.
Later that morning I opt for a mid morning cup of tea and a chocolate digestive for a treat!
Would you believe that!? Yet another strange coincidence. Well they say it happens in threes!
Lunch time and I pop over to Co-Op and grab a cheese ploughmans sandwich.
Bloody Hell! This is taking the piss now.
After a hard day at work, I return home and am relieved to see that the book by Lance Armstrong, It’s not about the bike, from Amazon had arrived. This was an absolute steal as it has recently been reduced by quite a bit. Although I struggled to find it on Amazon. Then I realised I wasn’t looking in the right place and found it in the fiction section.
WHAT THE F*%*!!!!!!!! Is this a joke? Is a camera crew going to come bursting in at any minute only to find I’m part of a new Channel 5 TV show hosted by the cheeky girls called the UK’s Shittest practical jokes!? Cue canned laughter.
After recomposing myself, with a little help of the tender words of Mrs Grump telling me to get a grip, stop overreacting and being a drama queen, I set about preparing dinner for us. Luckily, my mood was soon lifted as it was my favourite, bangers and mash. At this point I would like to point out that you are having a real insight into the diet of The Grumpy Young Bloke and if you are interested in more recipes and nutritional advice to make you a Grumpy young person, my book entitled Grumpy Eating, A guide to eating for a grumpy irritable lifestyle, is available from all good retailers later in the year.
Anyway, bangers and mash!
OH F**%$$* B£$%&* S&*%$%££* W$*%$$$* !!!!!!!!
You create a product. A food product. You put it to market. You design the packaging to be vibrant, colourful and enticing. So when someone has fallen for the charming outer packaging and parted with their money, why would you then create a packaging that fails to let someone reach the product which you have fundamentally advertised and sold!?
Packaging fail. Falling short of boycotting the entire food manufacturing industry, I thought I would raise awareness about this very serious problem. We buy the goods, we want the goods. We don’t want to be teased in thinking we can go all the way when we can’t even remove the outer layer. We’ve been there before. We’ve moved on from those times, the acne, the bad teeth and our dad’s aftershave even though we’re not even shaving. We just want the goods. We want 4th base! I feel I may have gone off on a tangent there.
Anyway, you get the point. Let’s raise awareness! If you have suffered the same problems as I and wish to leave words of support for others who are traumatised by similar issues, please do so in the comments section. Just to know others feel the same in itself is a peace of mind for others.