Double Jeopardy!!

This time last year I was growing a beast of a moustache for charity.  A pretty pathetic, ginger caterpillar sat under my nose for most of the month. On the last day I got dressed up in fancy dress and you can read about it here

Now in that post I refer to a delightful lady who lives in a road that myself and a few colleagues use to park our cars.

She hates me.

I’ve never said anything to her. I’ve never been nasty, rude or impolite. I even acknowledged her whilst dressed like an idiot as mentioned in that post. But alas it didn’t even crack a smile. Instead it just glared at me with what can only be described as a look of pure hatred.

I don’t even park outside her house but still, a year on and nothing has changed. You know what? I really don’t think that I will ever be able to get a smile. If a stupid costume isn’t going to do it then nothing will. I will have to just put up with the wenches evil glare of hate and feel the imaginary knives stabbing me every time I walk past.

But I feel like I must do something. I gauged that when I was in costume, despite looking like a fool, she was not willing to engage in any conversation. So to talk to her is going to be a pointless exercise.

But then I thought about the term Double Jeopardy. A term meaning that if someone is convicted of a crime and is punished for that crime, essentially if they then find out that the crime was never committed in the first place and they then commit the aforementioned crime, they will not be punished because they have already been served the punishment.

So basically, what I’m saying is that as she looks at me like I’ve taken a shit in her bed, I may as well break into her house and take a shit in her bed!

I’ll let you know how I get on.


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