You Know What Cheese Is Don’t You?

cheese mouse

Every day, we have a man turn up at work to sell sandwiches. Let’s call him Adrian. He also sells toasties, baguettes, crisps, sweets and cans of pop. He’s reasonably priced and the sandwiches are, well, okay I guess. If you choose a sandwich with mayo on, you’d be better off if you really loved the stuff because there seems to be no definitive distinction between a normal serving of mayo and a serving that results in a soggy baguette and who loves a soggy baguette? That’s right, twisted people!

Anyway, I was in the queue because that’s the polite, orderly, British and correct way. There was one guy in front of me. He is looking at the sandwiches. I’m sure you’ve seen sandwiches sold like this in plastic containers, sliced into triangles and placed in a fashion so you can clearly see the filling.

The guy in front of me pointed to the cheese and salad sandwich and asked, “Is that chicken?” There was a pause from Adrian and a look as if to say, “Are you taking the piss?” Then politely he answered, “No, thats cheese and salad.”

There is a moment while the guy considers what to have. He then points to another sandwich. A chicken mayo sandwich. I could tell this because the filling was chicken and mayo. “Is this chicken?” he asked again. “Yes, that one’s chicken,” replied Adrian. After another momentary pause, the chap opts for the chicken and mayo sandwich, pays and goes.

Now, correct me if I’m wrong but I thought that there were distinct differences between chicken and cheese. One being that chicken looks like, well, chicken and cheese looks like, err, cheese. Of course the big give away between the two is that cheese tends to be sliced and yellow in colour where as chicken, as in the soggy sandwich he was about to enjoy, is a white meat.

I arrived for my choice, I picked up the cheese salad sandwich and looked Adrian straight in the eye. “This yellow sliced stuff here, is this cheese?” Adrian knew I was having a laugh and instead of punching me, assured me that it was indeed cheese. “What’s this salad type stuff that’s with it?” I asked. “That is salad,” replied Adrian. I then picked up a Mars and followed up with, “Is this chocolate?” “Yes, that is a Mars bar,” replied Adrian.

I paid for the items, thanked him and went on my way.

Hey just because that chap couldn’t distinguish between cheese and chicken, doesn’t mean I should draw any kind of presumption about his ability to give sound advice to customers in relation to their insurance claims.

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