The Grumpy Young Blokes Thoughts About Jeremy Clarkson

Just thought I’d have my five pence’s worth regarding the whole Jeremy Clarkson controversy.

For those who live in parts of the world where their news stories are actually interesting and headline newsworthy, let me fill you in.

Jeremy Clarkson, presenter of BBC’s Top Gear, punched a colleague over an issue with the food not being satisfactory. He then got suspended and everyday, it was at the forefront of the news. Will he be fired? Should he be fired? Who agree? Who disagree? What the fallout from his firing would be and what the financial loss could be for the BBC. It went on and on.

There were petitions online whereby almost a million people signed it, saying that Clarkson should not be fired.

Well now he’s been fired.

My Grumpy thoughts?

Well I’ve not exactly been a fan of Top Gear in recent years. Middle aged, pretentious, rich men, playing about in lavish vehicles that I would never be able to afford, in exotic settings all over the world. I can’t stand their smug little jokes, which they’ve probably said for the third take, getting nothing more than polite laughter from the audience who had to wait seven years for a ticket. So grateful that they managed to make it there, they’ll laugh at anything.

But that’s what Top Gear became to me in the end, smug and contrived. Yes the cars were great, yes the locations were amazing and the creativity of their tasks were highly entertaining. But I have a habit of thinking too much and noticing things and the enjoyment and surprise go out of the window when an “unexpected” event occurs which luckily, just so happened to be in front of a camera. It spoilt it for me.

Of course, it goes without saying that the most heinous crime of Top Gear, is that none of the presenters are bald. No one from the bald community is represented.

The Grumpy Young Bloke’s take on this is simple. If you hit someone at work, unless that’s a specific job requirement, you deserve to be fired. I couldn’t hit a colleague at work just because they borrowed my pen and then chewed the end of it, regardless of how much that infuriates me. I’d be straight out the door to the job centre, joining a queue with a good chance of taking in the aroma of stale alcohol and cigarettes. I’ve been there before.

What is difficult to understand is why so many people would want to sign a petition for this man to keep his job. Almost a million people! Especially when there are more worthy causes such as the case of Mr Robbie Clark. The 96 year old war veteran who fought for this country, to protect it from a mass murdering evil dictator. His local council won’t help him now he needs it. You can read about it here and if you are from the UK please sign the petition. A hero needs those signatures, not a mega rich, bully.

As for Clarkson, I hope the violent, multi millionaire finds work soon. It’s tough out there. But with his extensive driving experience, he could always get a van. Of course, with his aggressive nature, it would have to be a white van.

Jeremy Clarkson Van

As for Top Gear, they need a new presenter. Well for what it’s worth, I like nice cars, I like the idea of driving fast, I’ve got a clean license, I can’t act so my performance will always be sincere, I can be grumpy and I would be a positive ambassador for the bald community. In fact, you could guarantee that the bald community, all of them, would tune in. I’m here if they need me. I’m happy to help. I need to give 4 weeks notice for my current role.

If you work at the BBC……get in touch.


I promise not to offend anyone….. much.


One comment

  1. Malc · April 8, 2015

    Love the way this was headline news on the BBC for about a week after. The very BBC that owns and shows the programme. News? Or a way to get rid of a wayward celeb with an expensive contract while generating a media circus driving viewers to their show. Almost like the hype around the Stig “is it Damon Hill, Nigel Mansell” Blah Blah. No it’s a third rate failed racer who never would have generated any interest if they used his real name. Me cynical, never! Got to hand it to Top Gears producers though they are good at creating hype.


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