Making Money Out Of Racism

So yesterday in Dudley, where I reside, there was yet another demonstration. This time it was the turn of a new group, the All Football Fans/Firms against Islamisation or AFFFAI for short. A short sharp and punchy acronym I’m sure you will agree.

But the AFFFFFFFFFAIAIA aren’t the first protest to grace Dudley with their presence. The English Defence League or EDL for short (Better at acronyms) were here before and a far right group called Britain First have also marched through the streets chanting shouting and dribbling.

To be honest, Dudley already has a permanent march already. We don’t need anymore.

Dudley Bon Marche

The reason why Dudley seems to attract this bigotry, racism and xenophobia? Because a new mosque is going to be built.

I suppose it wouldn’t be so bad if they visited Dudley zoo. Not only would they be putting some money back into the local economy, the zoo keepers might actually mistake them for escapees and seize capture, sticking them back in the gorilla pen. I’m sure throwing sh*t isn’t a first for them!

Anyway, imagine my joy when during this march, the southern based in-laws were coming to visit. I was imagining the scene. Opening the front door to my mother and father in law, “Mum, Dad, welcome to Dudley! What? Oh ignore that. It’s just some fascists having an aggressive, xenophobic march through the streets of Dudley. Yeah, they’ll be back on the coach soon. They’re called the AFFFFAFFAFFAFFAFAAFFFFFFFAFAFAFAAIIIAIIAFAFAIIAIIIA for short. Have you heard of them? No? Me neither. I’ll put the kettle on.”

Luckily, they didn’t witness any of the march and the visit went well.

So here are a few images from yesterday.

1. Anonymity

Dudley Protest

Nothing says, “I’m an upstanding citizen of this country exercising my democratic right to freedom of speech in a completely reasonable manner,” more than being dressed as a kidnapper. Surely nothing is more ironic than an attempt at anonymity but standing out as being the only one with a full-face balaclava!

Also note the expression of the guy on the very far right (no pun intended). You can just see enough of his face to question what the hell is going on.

2. Population Control.

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This group are probably all for closing our borders to foreigners and preventing entry to anyone wanting to enter this country for a better life. It’s ironic that in this picture, the police officer is trying to control the current chav population of Dudley! We’ve got plenty as it is! We don’t want anymore! They come here and don’t bother working! Taking all the benefits! Going on the Jeremy Kyle show!

chav

3. One For The Ladies.

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It was raining which was a good thing. Not that this guy was bothered. I’m not someone who judges people who have tattoos. There are some amazing examples of body art out there. And then there’s a tattoo of a devil flexing his bicep on your back. Hey, I’m not judging!

5. Seriously, it was this big!

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Even keen fishermen were in attendance.

6. Neeeever Forget Where You’ve Come Here From!

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This guy was clearly sitting on his girlfriend’s shoulders. Must think he’s at a bloody Take That concert! Mind you, it does look like he’s demonstrating his last experience in prison.

I’m not known for my entrepreneurial spirit, but I’ve been thinking hard about whether I could actually financially benefit from these demonstrations and I think I can. Let me share with you my ideas now that I know my target market.

I shall set up a gazebo by the side of the road. I shall take my clippers and hook it up to a car battery offering shaved heads for a fiver. They’ll be queuing up around the block!

jhgd

But wait, that’s not the only service I’ll be offering. With a few rags and a bottle of Brasso, I’ll also offer to polish their array of sovereigns, chains, bracelets and any other golden cheap sh*t they’ll be wearing.

brasso

But wait! That’s not the only service I’ll be offering. Staffordshire Bull Terrier hire!

iytdkhgc

I can imagine it now, going onto Dragons Den with my idea to get funding to set myself up. Although in fairness, I reckon £50 investment would be good to get me started.

Before you know it, I’ll be rich and the FFFAAAIAIAIFIFIFIFIFIAAAAAAFFFIFIFIFIEDLBFFSAAAAAFFFFIIIA’s choice!

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