When The Dead contact you.

I was visiting my Aunt and she explained how she believes that her house is haunted. I’ve stayed there and I haven’t experienced anything. Likewise, my Uncle who happens to share the same living space (they’re married after all), hasn’t experienced anything either.

The evidence? Well, my Aunt swears that lights have been switched on and she has awoken in the middle of the night to discover that a TV might be switched on in one of my cousin’s rooms. But my cousins’s aren’t even home.

I can appreciate that this could be an unnerving predicament and I didn’t exactly feel the urge to get out a Ouija Board.

But later, whilst driving home and letting my little Grumpy mind wonder into the unknown reaches of randomness, I pondered further on the logic of this paranormal activity.

Because let’s be honest, if it is a sign from the “other side” then it’s a pretty crap thing to do isn’t it?

To switch on a TV or a light would, I assume, require some form of conscious thought, a definitive choice to take action and to me that shows a distinct lack of imagination. If you were a ghost and wanted to contact someone in the land of the living, what do you really expect to achieve by switching a light on? If anything, it shows a complete disregard for saving energy and fuel bills. Plus, it’s the fact that, well, it doesn’t really tell anyone anything does it? If you can interact with the physical realm albeit switching lights on and off and turning a tv on, why not do something more direct as a form of contact? Why not make a sign like those you see in the crowd at a WWE event?


Instead of “WWE Granny 86 years old,” it would read, “Hey! Aunty Edith says hello. Should have spent the inheritance on something more productive. Love from Uncle Joe. XXX” or “We saw what you did to the neighbours cat and are both disgusted and appalled. We have literally turned in our graves. From Nan and Grandad.”

But then it occurred to me that if it is possible to interact with the physical realm when you are in spirit and if you can actually move around a living space, touch and move things, then why are you mooching around people’s homes when they’re not around? Why not get on a plane and piss off somewhere nice? Why isn’t the Caribbean or Barbados known as the most haunted places on the planet? I’d be getting as much free travel as possible. It’s like the next logical step from a free pensioners bus pass.

Am I thinking too much about this?




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